People and Church

The dynamics of relationships in a church setting can be misleading. I suppose everyone feels that within the confines of this building (since it is dedicated to God and Holy) we will all be on our best behavior and therefore no one will ever be hurt...physically, mentally or emotionally. It is a Utopian ideal. This is one place I can go and be safe.

While we all do what we can to keep this a place of safety...physically. Human nature can be much harder to control in the remaining areas...

People will be what and who they are...we just can't help ourselves. Even though we may try to enter this sanctuary and act accordingly, our human selves will out. If I choose to speak my mind or my heart, I will invariably hurt another. While I may not do this willfully or while I may do it in defense of another and while I may do it with what I perceive to be a heart of love, I cannot control how it will be received by another.

If we choose to wear our hearts on our sleeves, our hearts will be hurt or maybe even broken. If we choose to take all comments or critiques as a personal rebuke, we will spend much time in sorrow. I use the words “choose to wear” and “choose to take” purposefully. It is my choice. How I allow the thoughts or words of another to affect me is MY choice.

Most people within a congregation do not attend with the purpose of hurting others. Most of what is said and done is meant to be helpful, or at least instructive, or so we believe. I cannot control “other people”. I can control me...what I do with their words is completely within my power. Regardless of how a thought, word or action is meant...if I choose to receive them in love, I can completely remove their power to hurt.

From time to time I will forget and react in my human nature. But given time, I will hear the voice of God. He has given me the power to choose and He will give me the love and strength to follow through.

Or, as said by Catherine de Hueck Doherty in "Poustinia: Christian Spirituality of the East for Western Man":
"As you know only too well, the divisions, arguments, and power plays that take place at meetings witness to the fragmentation of humanity. By your presence in love, you have to witness to how much time is wasted, how much selfishness is going on, how much greed there is for power, attention, and recognition…If by prayer you have received food from God, you should be able...to give the oil of tenderness and the wine of compassion, first to each other, and then to everyone you meet. All this is done silently, in the secret places of your hearts."