Hearing...

There's a very funny Jackie Chan movie where one of his co-stars asks, "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth"?

Throughout my son's formative years (and we've noticed it in grandson too), he almost seemed to stutter. As a matter of fact, his 1st grade teacher spoke with us about her concern...wondering if we had ever thought of speech therapy for him. We knew his problem was not stuttering, his brain moved at hyper speed compared to his mouth. He would repeat some words, several times, in an effort to keep his thoughts in order. As he has grown and matured, he rarely does this anymore...unless he's really excited!

My problem was the opposite. As a child, I had a desperate need to be heard. Fearful that I would loose the attention of whatever adult I was speaking to, I would talk VERY fast. It was unavoidable that words would run together and I was too young to realize that the way I spoke didn't get me heard, it frustrated whatever adult that was trying to listen to me. Many times they would shake their heads in exasperation and walk away. I came home from school one day to find a new poster on my bedroom wall. It read, "I know you believe you understand what you think I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant". Dad bought the poster because he said it reminded him of me.

I was fortunate enough to have a teacher in high school who believed in young people and didn't follow the adage that "children should be seen and not heard". She took the time to talk with us and more importantly, to listen to us. Over the course of the school year she helped me realize that my thoughts were worthy of consideration and if others didn't listen, well, that was their problem. I realized that trickery would not get my voice heard.

It's funny, my husband (of almost 34 years) is partially deaf in one ear and totally so in the other. He has adapted by learning to read lips...which is fine if he can convince people to look directly at him. We've tried hearing aids but we waited too long...he cannot filter sounds the way a hearing person can. The refrigerator running, a television in another room, the hum of the air conditioning and all the other sounds you and I automatically tune out just serve to put his nerves on edge. After a few hours with the hearing aid, he decided he couldn't take it.

When I started the paragraph above, I didn't mean it was funny he is almost totally deaf, it's funny because mine is the one voice he can hear. I don't have to shout or make gestures...I speak in a normal voice. Needless to say, I AM his hearing aid. It's funny because the child who so desperately wanted to be heard, has the task of translating the world for someone she loves. And I know he hears every word...