AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending the Service.
CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Congregation to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at the Service often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have
already left.
INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.
JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.
KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most can recognize besides gyros and baklava.
MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER: Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO. The Bible's way of showing
us that holiday travel has always been rough.
PEW: A medieval torture device still found in churches.
PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of the Service consisting of cross bearer, acolytes and
late members looking for seats.
RELICS: People who have been going to Church so long they actually know when to sit and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
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