A friend linked to the following here... Much needed reminder! They are our shepherds but we tend to forget they're not "superman/superwoman" or that our "problem" may NOT be the most important issue on their plate!
What Priests (Pastors) Want You to Know
A few posts have popped up this week on our radar about what
pastors/priests/ministers and the like want their parishioners to know
about what goes on between Sundays and, for that matter, what goes on
during Sundays. We figured this looked like a prime place for us to
wade into the water, so here we go.
1. Your minister has a personal life. Just like your
teachers in school and your doctor, ministers and priests have a life
that existed long before they were ordained. So, just like you, they
have family issues and car trouble and dishes that sit in the sink far
too long and children who were up sick all night before the Easter Day
services. Just like regular people, life can be joyous and
overwhelming. And we often are not able to share that with
parishioners. A quote I saw on a bumper sticker said, "Be kind, because
everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Yes, indeed.
2. Sundays are long days for us. We are on, and I
mean Beyonce at a concert on, from the time we step into the church
until the last person leaves. We are responsible for the liturgy, the
sermon, and the climate control (because no one in the church agrees on
temperature). People tell us things, from random comments about the
football game to significant news about their lives. We often are
teaching a class, as well. A retired priest I knew said every
hour clergy work on Sundays is the equivalent of working 2.5 hours any
other day.
3. Clergy have to flip switches in ways that are not good.
Every priest I know has many stories of going from a parishioner's
hospital room where the family has gathered to say goodbye to a finance
committee meeting. It is the nature of what we do. Remember when your
minister takes a morning off, s/he may be giving herself or himself
time to reflect on all that has happened because that's the only time
she has.
4. We miss the parishioners we bury. Just because
we're preaching the sermon and celebrating the liturgy like we're
totally together doesn't mean we aren't crying on the inside. Clergy do
not live day to day, week to week, month to month, and year to year
with the people they serve and not grieve when those beloved people
die. Again, grief needs her space and time, so allow your minister to
take that time (or remind them to take that time.)
5. We are not particularly good at disappointment. Perhaps
it's a personality type, but most clergy I know will work until their
fingers fall off for the community they love and serve. Just a note -
this is not good. God jerked my attention to this fact a week before
Palm Sunday, when I just hit a wall. We cannot do everything we want to
do. We only have a certain amount of energy, which means we, like the
rest of the humanity, have to make choices about where and how our
energy can be shared. This will always mean something that someone
really, really wants to see done in the church will not be done. And we
hate that, but there you go.
6. Life happens at the church every day of the week. A
few things that happen when the flock is not at the church: planning
liturgies, writing sermons, taking phone calls, meeting with people who
need to be heard, visiting those who are sick, working with community
groups, dealing with the physical plant, reading emails, and rearranging
schedules when the unexpected happens, as it often does. Churches are
busy, busy places every day of the week. Which also means it's always
better to make an appointment rather than just stop by if you really
need to talk.
7. Many clergy only get one day off a week. For many
of us, things happen on Saturday, so our Saturdays are not always a day
off. And it's also a day for sermon-writing because often the week gets
too busy for quiet time to write.
8. Church life is often feast or famine. Just like
regular life, life in the church either seems to run at 100 mph or
quite slow. There are weeks that 80 hours is not unusual for me, and I
am quite thankful for the ones that require about 20. And when the slow
weeks come, having a parish that empowers their clergy to take that
time and relax is a gift. We really love what we do, but need down time
to re-energize and reflect.
9. We don't remember what you tell us on Sunday.
Please, email us or write it down.
10. We make mistakes. Yes, indeed. Forgive us when we
do. Love us anyway.
