How do you react when you feel overwhelmed, afraid, frustrated, stressed out or angry? Do you want to lash out? Make someone hurt as much as you do? Does it matter who "they" are? Friend, stranger, relative, loved one?
Just one of the emotions described above can make you uncomfortable. But add two or three together and it can be agonizing. The only way we know to get it "out of our system" is to direct these feelings toward someone else. While it is human nature that our emotions will get the better of us from time to time, many times it is the "innocent bystander" who bears the brunt.
Naturally, lashing out is often followed by guilt...for berating someone else who probably doesn't deserve to be our victim. And that is what they are...a victim. Of emotions that run wild and out of control. We all know that hurtful words spoken can never be taken back. They are always there and can serve as a barrier between us. It will be oh so hard for the other person to believe that we care and have their best interests at heart if we use them this way.
Controlling our emotions takes strength...I cannot tell you the best way to control yours...I just know what works for me. Walking away...to place where I am alone and cannot send out my hurtful words to another. The energy used while walking takes energy away from my anger and frustration. After a while, I can look at the situation that caused my outburst with clear eyes and without leaving scars on a relationship. Perhaps it will work for you too.
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