Fidelity to commitment in the face of doubts and fears is a very spiritual thing. I don’t suggest it for the weak of heart or if you are in a hurry. An old preacher once said, “Until you’ve stood at the door for years and knocked until your knuckles bleed, you don’t know what prayer is.”
I don't know what preacher wrote this although I suspect that many of them could have...just like many of us could.
I can only relate it to my ministry with the young people...for the times I have what I think is the perfect lesson, and I can tell by the zoned out look in their eyes they just don't get it, or don't hear it, or just don't want to try...perhaps it's too hard for where they are at that particular moment.
And for the other times when I'm "flying by the seat of my pants"...life has crowded me too much and I haven't spent enough (or what I feel is enough) time developing what I need to say. On these days I pray as I drive..."Lord my words are so inadequate, I'm just not ready to speak to them tonight, please, please loan me your words. Please give me the strength to open my mouth with the confidence that you know what they need."
These are the times when I can tell, He has spoken and they have heard. It seems so easy. But then God is in the word business..."And the Word was with God and the Word was God..."
But I know He doesn't intend for me to never prepare. As I prepare, He is ministering to me as well as the young people in my charge. And a huge part of that preparation is knocking on the door until my knuckles bleed...
One of these days I'll get it right. I will prepare, I will open my mouth, and then I'll get out of the way...for His words are always the right ones. And a knock on the door never truly goes unanswered.