As in the old hymn...trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
When humans attempt to follow this path, on our own, we find that we are endlessly trying and failing. We get caught in the trap of willpower and determination. The reality for many is that no matter how hard we try we never quite get it right.
As children our behavior is rewarded or punished. In our wee little minds we equate reward with being loved more or better when we are good, when we please others. Unfortunately as we grow, this pattern manifests not only in our relationships with friends and family but we may also believe it of God. He will love me more if I am good. It's a vicious cycle that has a tendency to work on our self confidence...how we feel about ourselves...never good enough. We get the "obey" part but we drop "trust" from the equation.
We must remind ourselves, daily, hourly that if we can trust God with the bad stuff that happens in our lives, we can also trust Him to love us in spite of it. That's what He does...
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